School Blues and Life's Blessings

I'm feeling a little sad. G starts pre-k next week. I feel like it took me 4 years to decide to be SAHM. And now I'm about to lose her every morning already. Not that I didn't feel the conflict the ENTIRE 4 years, but I just loved working, too. I craved that creative outlet. I also felt so incredibly responsible for my employees, liked being able to contribute to our family income, etc, etc, etc.  Many of the same feelings most working moms feel I'm sure. But it just started to feel too much like "work" lately. Too much pressure, too much chaos, and I felt like my kids and hubby were paying the price.

Well, when I finally made the jump, I'm just kicking myself for not doing it earlier. I can't believe how much I've gotten done in a month!! And, this is with still keeping a select few client projects and working 1 day a week while the kids play with MawGaw or Grandma. I'm really excited about how I may have finally found my version of 'balance.' I truly love just watching the kids play at home. I love that things have stayed 'fairly' picked up in our once out of control chaotic home. I love that we've had supper before 7:30 every night. I love that I actually sent their school paperwork in by the deadline instead of finding it on my messy desk 3 days late :) I love not having to dash off to check my computer every 15 minutes to check on clients/projects when I'm at home with them. I think that's why, even with my previously flexible schedule I never felt free to just play with them. I always had things hanging over my head...clients waiting for proofs....bookwork that needed to get done....printers with questions....phone calls to return....I just feel so much less guilt now.

I also feel very, very, very blessed to have the ability to be able to make that choice at all. I thank God for my hard-working hubby.  A man who, while I was running a business, would work a 12 hour day at his own family business and then come home to do ALL of our family's laundry at night while I would make sure there would be dinner for us on the table (yes, I actually had to have him teach me how to work our washing machine), and then would equally help bathe and get little ones to bed. I guess I'm a little late to the game, but I'm determined to make up for lost time. My goal is less stress for all of us. So yes, I'm a little sad about G going to school next week already, but my comfort is knowing I'll have every afternoon with them both now!

Sewing

My first "real" sewing project. Used a pattern, did a gazzilion ruffles. Took way too long, but I loved doing it!